Making Choices
by ijustkeepswimming
Summary: Set when Charlie returns from visiting her father, our favourite cop has a choice to make as to whether she wants to be with Joey or not. One-shot.


_I had an idea for a random one shot in my mind so here it is. It's based when Charlie arrives back from visiting her father and comes back to tell Joey that she can't be with her. This is my take on what could have happened. I hope you like it! Love, IJKS xxx_

**Making Choices**

"Please, put me out of my misery?" Joey begged.

She gently reached out and stroked Charlie's hair, gazing into her eyes and hoping that Charlie would tell her what she wanted to hear. At first, she'd thought it was all one sided. She'd thought that Charlie was some fantasy out of reach. But then she'd kissed her. She'd felt Charlie's lips pressed against hers, expressing affection and attraction. It was a moment that she knew she'd never forget but now she was hoping that their first kiss wouldn't be their last. Suddenly, the phone rang. Frustrated with the timing, Joey dropped her hand and headed into the lounge. Charlie hesitated for a moment and then followed. She wasn't sure if she was happy or sad to have been interrupted. She was just about to break Joey's heart and she wasn't sure she could even go through with it. And what would happen between them if Charlie rejected her? Would they stay friends? Would Joey leave her? How would Charlie cope if she lost the girl she loved but couldn't enter into a relationship with?

Joey watched the clock strike midnight and then gave up. They'd been interrupted by a frantic phone call from Leah saying that they were at the hospital and Roman was badly injured. Charlie had excused herself and hurried over, leaving Joey to continue babysitting VJ. She'd had a phone call to say that Roman was stable but not awake and they weren't sure what level of injuries he had sustained. Charlie had been the one to call her. Joey was glad of that. But it had been all business aside from telling her to take care. Joey headed up to check on VJ who was sleeping soundly and then went to the bathroom to brush her teeth. Heading back into her bedroom, she closed the door and stripped off, neatly folding her clothes over a chair. Reaching beneath her pillow, she dressed in a pair of blue pyjamas. They'd been a present from Charlie when she'd first moved in, having been horrified by how threadbare her usual pyjamas were. She'd gone out and bought some, wrapping them up in pink wrapping paper and then presenting them proudly. Joey smiled at the memory as she slipped beneath the sheets and lay back against the pillows. Sighing, she gazed up at the ceiling and wondered was going to happen next. Would Charlie choose to be with her? Or didn't she mean enough? Would she let her go? And Joey had no idea how she would react to her. She thought she might combust from joy if Charlie told her she wanted to be with her. And if she told her she didn't, she knew her heart would break. She was always aware that her flight instinct could well take over. She couldn't envision living under the same roof as her when she had been rejected in that way.

* * *

Having left Leah and Nicole at the hospital and decided that there was little more she could do there, Charlie had left for home. All the lights were out when she got in and she supposed that VJ and Joey were both in bed. Putting her bag down and feeling like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders, she approached the stairs in order to go up to Ruby's room and sleep. Her little sister was spending the night at Annie's. Pausing on the first stair, she turned back and approached her own room. The door was shut but light crept through the door. She knocked.

"Hello?" came the voice from the other side.

Charlie took a deep breath and entered the room. She saw Joey tucked up in bed with her book. Entering the room she said hello.

"I just wanted to let you know I was back."

"How is everyone?" Joey asked.

Charlie nodded and put her hands in her pockets. Joey studied her every move.

"There's still no real change," she said. "We should know more tomorrow."

They smiled awkwardly at each other, getting momentarily lost in each other's eyes. Charlie willed herself to leave but she couldn't quite make her feet move. She'd never been so swept away by someone before. Up till now, she thought she'd had really strong feelings for Roman but they didn't even compare to how she felt about Joey. It blew her mind to realise how hard she had fallen, and who she had fallen for. But it broke her heart to know she couldn't be with her.

"So, do you want to talk now or wait till morning?" Joey asked.

The more Charlie seemed to not want to talk about it, the more Joey was sure she was going to break her heart. If she loved her then surely she would be able to wait to tell her. Surely she would be happy about it. Charlie swallowed and tentatively moved to perch on the edge of the bed.

"May as well talk now, I guess," she said, although she didn't really want to.

"Okay," Joey said softly.

She put her book on the bedside table and gave Charlie her full attention. She watched her open and shut her mouth, making a few vowels sounds and the more time that passed, the more Joey was certain she would be disappointed.

"I... I, um... well, I..." Charlie faltered.

Her heart was racing as she prepared to give Joey her answer but the words wouldn't come. She looked into Joey's soulful eyes and was disarmed by all the love and hope she found there. Could she really walk away from someone who adored her so relentlessly? Could she really walk away from someone she felt the same adoration for? Love wasn't exactly something that came easily for Charlie. She loved Ruby and her family and she cared a lot about her friends. But she'd never loved someone romantically. She'd never fallen in love before. Until recently, she had wondered if it was even possible. But now here she was, desperately in love with Joey. She continued to study her face. She looked so earnest and so vulnerable curled up in the pyjamas Charlie had bought her. Suddenly she leant forward and pressed her lips gently against Joey's. As she did it, she wondered what on earth she was doing. This wasn't how it was meant to go. She was meant to be letting her down gently. But instead, she was kissing her and Joey was kissing her back. Their contact was tender and loving. She felt Joey wrap her arms around her neck, pulling her closer. Charlie rested her hands on either side of Joey's body as their lips continued to brush against each other. She felt thrill after thrill go through her as their intimacy deepened. Joey's tongue touched her lips. Instinctively, Charlie parted them and welcomed Joey inside. Joey felt like her body was on fire as Charlie leant so close to her. She could smell the hint of fading perfume as their tongues tentatively touched. Slowly and reluctantly, they parted. Charlie rested her forehead against Joey's for a moment and sighed heavily. Joey closed her eyes and her heart sank.

"That's not really what you meant to say, was it?" she almost accused.

Charlie drew away and shook her head. She could still feel Joey on her mouth. She could still taste her.

"Okay," Joey said, fighting tears. "Goodnight then. I'll be out of your hair in the morning."

"It wasn't what meant to say but... it's what I said," Charlie told her.

Joey made eye contact. She looked cautious and afraid.

"I love you," Charlie said gently, testing the words out. "And I... I'm so scared. I'm scared of what people will say. I'm scared of messing it up and letting you down. But I... if I tell you that I can't be with you... I'm going to lose you forever, aren't I?"

Joey swallowed.

"I don't see how it could work any other way," she said.

Charlie nodded and closed her eyes. Opening back up, she reached to hold both of Joey's hands in hers. She stroked her fingers, making them both tingle. Joey searched her face, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Then I've made my choice," Charlie said.

Joey held her breath, hanging on her every word.

"Living without you would be a million times harder than accepting how I feel about you," Charlie said.

"You mean you want to...?"

Charlie leant in and kissed her again, this time with certainty and confidence. She ran her hands through Joey's hair and was the first to encourage it to deepen. Pulling away breathlessly after a long while, both girls gazed at each other, feeling suddenly shy. They smiled happily at each other.

"Does this mean... we're dating?" Charlie wondered, not letting go of Joey's hands.

Joey grinned.

"I guess it does!" she said.

She couldn't and didn't want to hide her joy.

"I uh... I should probably go to bed," Charlie said. "It's late and..."

"You could sleep here," Joey offered.

Charlie looked startled for a moment. Joey smiled affectionately and stroked her cheek.

"No sex," she promised. "Just... cuddling?"

Charlie smiled and let go of a breath she hadn't realised she was holding. She looked into Joey's eyes, turning over the possibilities. She had never been a cuddly person, certainly not a cuddly sleeper. But suddenly the idea of curling up in Joey's arms sounded heavenly.

"Okay," she said. "I'll just... I'll just go get changed."

"You can get changed here!" Joey smirked.

Charlie giggled and kissed her before almost skipping out of the room. Joey leant back against the pillows with a big smile on her face. She could hardly believe this was real. Charlie had really told her that she wanted to be with her. She loved her. She'd actually told her that she loved her.

"This is officially the best day of my life!" Joey said to herself.

* * *

Charlie felt a little shy as she re-entered her bedroom in her cream, satin pyjamas. She could hardly believe that this was really happening. She smiled a little shyly at Joey and then crept round to the other side of the bed. She slipped beneath the sheets and welcomed Joey into her arms. They hugged and kissed before Joey pulled away.

"Are you seriously going to sleep in a bra?" she asked.

Charlie blushed and explained she hadn't been quite sure of 'sharing a bed with your girlfriend for the first time' etiquette. Joey took Charlie's hands and placed them on her own chest. They grinned at each other.

"No bra," Charlie said, not taking her hands away.

She stroked Joey's breasts tenderly through her shirt, her mind still reeling over the fact that she loved touching her in this way. _When did that happen? s_he wondered._ When you met Joey_, she answered herself. With her hands still in place, she leant forward and kissed Joey again. When they parted, she reluctantly removed her hands and took her bra off under her top. Joey lay back against the pillows and Charlie snuggled up to her, draping an arm over her body and entwining their legs.

"Is this okay?" she asked when Joey reached out to click the lamp off.

Joey put her arm around her and kissed the top of her head.

"This is perfect," she confirmed.


End file.
